You know the sound. The cabinet closed a little too hard. The long sigh aimed at the middle of the room. The “it's fine” that means nothing is fine. The word said just quietly enough that you cannot be totally sure you were meant to hear it, and just loudly enough that you did. We have all been on both ends of this. And I want to say something that may land uncomfortably, because it is worth saying plainly. Muttering under your breath is not the polite, restrained, taking-the

“I’m fine.” Three words. Three completely different meanings, depending on how you say them. You already know the difference. The neutral “I’m fine” that actually means you are fine. The over-bright “I’M fine” that means please notice that you are not. The slow, weighted “I’m...fine” that means we are about to have a conversation, and it is going to be a long one. The words on paper are identical. The tone tells the entire story. And tone is doing more of the talking than mos